And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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