You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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