I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
