so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
