New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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