I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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