I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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