What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
