fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize