Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize