any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
