I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
