Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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