At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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