i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
