There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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