Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
