you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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