my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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