how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
