Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
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