That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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