If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize