nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
