i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
