Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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