Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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