dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
