so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
