im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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