Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
