How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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