can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
