look no pants
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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