dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
