once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
