You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
