Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
