I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
