I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize