You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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