You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
