Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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