Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
