PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
