Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
