I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
