i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
