I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Define "chronic" masturbator.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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