I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize