maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
