haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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