a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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