He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
