Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize