i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
