And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
