im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
