i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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