bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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