i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My ass is underappreciated
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
