Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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