Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
